(Request) Luna

Vision and Originality: Excuse me if I lump these two categories together for this critique. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

I'll congratulate you on your originality here. To be honest, I'd gotten pretty sick of seeing My Little Pony fan art all the time because everyone does the same thing, but your drawing immediately drew my attention. It's amazing what a background can do -- even just a simple one! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> I especially love the shape of the windows -- I would love to have some of those in real life! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Wink)"/> The play of shadows really makes it dramatic!


Technique: I also think it was a great idea to use the medium you did for this: the shades of grey help lend to the atmosphere of the setting. I get the feeling that Luna is maybe in some big, airy mansion, or maybe in a sprawling attic. Great job with that! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

I have to agree with *HaleyLonglover, however, in the fact that many parts are difficult to see. Seeing as Luna is the main object/the focal point of the picture, you'll want to make sure she immediately pops out of the page and is the first place that the eye is drawn. If the viewer can't immediately see the subject, it can make them lost interest in the drawing. A lot of the greys on here are the same value. You seem to have shaded some places, but the rest is a bit flat.


Some places that need some more shading are...

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> ...the edge of the room, where the wall meets the floor. Try shading out from the dividing line to give definition to where they separate -- at the moment they seem to be a single plane.

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> ...her face. You did fine on the neck, but the face seems to be no different in value than the hair is, so they blur together. Try looking at a black and white photograph of a person and ask yourself "okay, what makes this shade of grey stand apart from this shade of grey?" on the place between the face and the hair. The inside of her hair would be much darker than it is now, and that could fix most of the issue because it will set the face apart from the hair -- you could maybe even have some light peep through the strands and create an interesting play of light on her face! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> ...her legs. Keep your light source in mind as you shade! Since the light seems to be coming from the windows, the part of the leg that faces us will be in shadow. You did this on her left side legs but not the right. Think about how the shadow of her body would effect it too! (Also, don't you think she should have a shadow on the ground?)

<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="10" height="10" alt="" title="Bullet; Blue"/> ...her tail. I love how I can pick apart the individual strands, but right now the only reason I can tell her tail from the floor is the different directions you colored. In this case, you'll want to treat her whole tail as one, 3D object (as opposed to each strand being different objects), so you would shade it as you would a cylinder or a sphere (if that makes sense). You've got this cute little curl going on at the end, and I just wish it was more visible!


Impact: What stops this from being an absolute "wow" piece is that Luna is being swallowed by her surroundings right now. I think that if you just give her some more definition around her edges to make things more 3D, the piece will take on a whole new quality.

Overall, a it's really sweet portrait -- the wings, her expression, the curl -- adorable. I think you just need to put some more time into it to make it the best it can be.


Keep up the good work!
Bryn P. (Jsaren)