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2nd fav by alexisdalmation02




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Submitted on
July 16, 2012
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(Request) Luna by Dogezon (Request) Luna by Dogezon
Equipment used:

5H,4H,3H,2H,H,HB,2B,3B,4B,5B graphite pencis.

And my trusty putty eraser

...

Tim taken: 2 and a half hours I think. It's only a rough estimate though, it could be anything up to 3 and a half hours.

...

Request:

:iconunitoone: "Princess Luna!"

Hope you like it Uni!

...

Yep once again I'm experimenting with new styles of shading. I rather like this style though... so I think that U'll stick to it.

...

:iconyouareplz::iconallowedplz:
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:iconhaleylonglover:
Critique by HaleyLonglover Jul 16, 2012, 2:50:30 PM
First ever Critique, so let's not waste any time and get straight down to business!

First off, I like the way you designed Luna. Her wings, mane, and expression all look good! Even if (and I hate to be that guy,) I find some parts of her to be a little difficult to see.

The background work, while simple, is effective in what it sets out to do. And lastly, one needs to mention this new style of shading of yours. It shows some potential, but could still use a little work. Otherwise, it's not bad!

So overall, nice job!
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconjsaren:
Vision and Originality: Excuse me if I lump these two categories together for this critique. :)

I'll congratulate you on your originality here. To be honest, I'd gotten pretty sick of seeing My Little Pony fan art all the time because everyone does the same thing, but your drawing immediately drew my attention. It's amazing what a background can do -- even just a simple one! :D I especially love the shape of the windows -- I would love to have some of those in real life! ;) The play of shadows really makes it dramatic!


Technique: I also think it was a great idea to use the medium you did for this: the shades of grey help lend to the atmosphere of the setting. I get the feeling that Luna is maybe in some big, airy mansion, or maybe in a sprawling attic. Great job with that! :)

I have to agree with *HaleyLonglover, however, in the fact that many parts are difficult to see. Seeing as Luna is the main object/the focal point of the picture, you'll want to make sure she immediately pops out of the page and is the first place that the eye is drawn. If the viewer can't immediately see the subject, it can make them lost interest in the drawing. A lot of the greys on here are the same value. You seem to have shaded some places, but the rest is a bit flat.


Some places that need some more shading are...

:bulletblue: ...the edge of the room, where the wall meets the floor. Try shading out from the dividing line to give definition to where they separate -- at the moment they seem to be a single plane.

:bulletblue: ...her face. You did fine on the neck, but the face seems to be no different in value than the hair is, so they blur together. Try looking at a black and white photograph of a person and ask yourself "okay, what makes this shade of grey stand apart from this shade of grey?" on the place between the face and the hair. The inside of her hair would be much darker than it is now, and that could fix most of the issue because it will set the face apart from the hair -- you could maybe even have some light peep through the strands and create an interesting play of light on her face! :)

:bulletblue: ...her legs. Keep your light source in mind as you shade! Since the light seems to be coming from the windows, the part of the leg that faces us will be in shadow. You did this on her left side legs but not the right. Think about how the shadow of her body would effect it too! (Also, don't you think she should have a shadow on the ground?)

:bulletblue: ...her tail. I love how I can pick apart the individual strands, but right now the only reason I can tell her tail from the floor is the different directions you colored. In this case, you'll want to treat her whole tail as one, 3D object (as opposed to each strand being different objects), so you would shade it as you would a cylinder or a sphere (if that makes sense). You've got this cute little curl going on at the end, and I just wish it was more visible!


Impact: What stops this from being an absolute "wow" piece is that Luna is being swallowed by her surroundings right now. I think that if you just give her some more definition around her edges to make things more 3D, the piece will take on a whole new quality.

Overall, a it's really sweet portrait -- the wings, her expression, the curl -- adorable. I think you just need to put some more time into it to make it the best it can be.


Keep up the good work!
Bryn P. (Jsaren)
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:iconkillersteel:
killersteel Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
I'm gonna have to say that you made sort of a bad choice in coloring in this art...if you'd chosen a lighter background, and made Luna darker in compensation, many of her features would be far easier to make out. I can barely make out an iris and pupil in this picture, and the body blends in with the background way too well.

I can make out the wings and tail at the very least, and I will commend you on your detailing. Beyond that, I have this to say:

"Where's Luna? All I see is a big wall, and possibly some wings and a tail..."
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:icondogezon:
Dogezon Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe there's a critique button you know?
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:iconkillersteel:
killersteel Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
My critique is never developed enough to really be 'critique' though :V. I always go too easy when I'm actually rating something, so I just drop it in the comments.

Might make it a critique later on...
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:icondogezon:
Dogezon Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe... well if you have time I'd appreciate it if you look over my gallery.

Get an idea of how far I've come and what not.

Oh! I've got a few poems as well. Hehe... and you seem to like writing so :D
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:iconkillersteel:
killersteel Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
I'll give em a look sometime.
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:iconmrcreeperthebrony:
MrCreeperTheBrony Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very nice! Especially the wings!
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:icondogezon:
Dogezon Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Danke!
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:iconmrcreeperthebrony:
MrCreeperTheBrony Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Shit. . . i cant think of your welcome in german -_-
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:icondogezon:
Dogezon Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I have no idea


All I know is Danke :D
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:iconmrcreeperthebrony:
MrCreeperTheBrony Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Guten tag!
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